Type 2 diabetic guilt and shame seem to be expected of someone who has been diagnosed with this chronic disease in the U.S. The message has never been more clear than it was when the famous TV chef Paula Deen revealed that she had been diagnosed a type 2 diabetic.
Whatever her motives for what she does, many media persons have been extremely hateful in their attacks, using emotional words that are meant to wound. The problem is that it is not Paula Deen who is reading the poison they are pouring out.
And what if she is cooking with butter and passing along recipes for fried food on her very popular cooking show? Has someone actually proven that using butter causes obesity and diabetes? I've looked at a lot of research, and the facts are saying something different.
Type 2 Diabetic Guilt, the Damage
The damage done by attacking someone who is diabetic shows when you read the blogs on diabetic websites. Type 1's are separating themselves from type 2's because they don't want to be lumped in with the "fat slobs" who let themselves get a preventable disease.
And the type 2 diabetic guilt comes out in the voices of people who write that they are too ashamed of their diagnosis to tell anyone about it. What good does it do to tell them the facts?
Type 1 and type 2 diabetics are highly influenced by peer opinion, and that is especially true of younger ones. Diabulimia and other eating disorders are shortening the lives of diabetics just when research is coming up with better ways to handle the disease.
No one knows why one obese person slips into type 2 diabetes while another does not. And normal weight type 2 diabetics exist too. Genetics has a lot to do with it, but how much? Experts are not sure.
Meanwhile type 2 diabetic guilt has been turned up several notches. And most of us have plenty of things already to feel bad about. We've made choices that could have been better. But haven't the people who point a loud accusing finger at Paula Deen made some bad choices too?
Type 2 Diabetic Guilt and Shame, the Danger
I am a type 2 diabetic. I know what guilt and shame are, and I know what they do. Shame will never help anyone to change. Books have been written by psychologists who observe the damage. Teachers who use shame on their students get fired when they are caught.
Shame gives the message "I am a bad person." There is no cure for that, if you believe it. And it is a small step from guilt to shame for many. Those who judge others for diabetes and obesity take no account of the causes, and the ones who suffer the most are young people, who are more easily affected by what others say.
That is why attacking someone for their disease is so dangerous. A lot of type 2 diabetics are listening, and some of us have a hard time with not only the words but the spirit of hatred behind the attack.
Eating disorders, depression and chronic stress will make diabetes worse. Not only that, but they undermine the desire to change. Shame heaps more fuel on these problems. It does not help, never has, never will.
Guilt is saying "I made a mistake," and it is a needed step in making changes, but it is not a place to live. We have to admit our mistakes without trying to lay blame on someone else. Then the door is open to endless possible roads we can take.
The danger with type 2 diabetic guilt lies in the strong desire to lay blame. Most people who enjoy pointing fingers at others have fallen into the blame trap because they have not faced their own guilt. But blaming others will never help you feel less guilty for your own mistakes.
What To Do About Type 2 Diabetic Guilt
Becoming prediabetic came from my genetic make-up. The mistakes I made came from ignoring that fact. And when I was diagnosed type 2 diabetic guilt and shame dragged me into depression that I lived in for years.
Now that I have faced my mistakes, learned about this condition and begun to change, I feel a future open with choices. I already know some will be good and some will not. But wallowing in shame and trying to blame someone else are two things I won't waste time doing.
If you are a type 1 diabetic, a healthy diet and exercise will help you live a long and healthy life. And the same holds true for a type 2 diabetic. Because you are more vulnerable to complications and viruses like hepatitis B and flu, it becomes important to keep your immune system strong.
Staying away from AGEs and SOFAs will do that for you, simply by avoiding fast food and eating whole foods that don't have all the good things processed out. Add the superfoods with antioxidants to your diet, and make exercise a daily goal.
Take care of your diabetic chores - blood sugar testing, glucose monitor maintenance, regular visits to your doctor for kidney, liver and other blood tests, and inspecting your feet every day - those will increase your chances of dodging many of the complications.
Don't waste a minute regretting the past or letting someone's words pull you down into shame. Loving family and good friends will help you keep your perspective, and keeping your eyes on the needs of others will do the same. I wish you well.
Martha Zimmer invites you to visit her website and learn more about type 2 diabetes, its complications and how you can deal with them, as well as great tips for eating healthy that will make living with diabetes less painful.
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